Stay at Home Children

Hey fellow bloggers,

My name’s Caleb. That’s me on the right, with the unruly hair and the under-the-sea pajamas. I broke the remote control three times today so I didn’t put up much of a fight when my mom picked out these particular pajamas. I figure she earned it. I’m more of a rugby-striped, zip-up one-piece with the slip guards on the feet kind of guy but I let her dress me without incident. I’ll find a time to maneuver in my famous kick and barrel roll the next time I feel she needs a gentle reminder of who she works for. 

This is my mom on the left. She says my sisters and I are her 3 favorite people, although I’m certain she likes me a little bit more. We have an agreement to never look at any camera at the same time. She spends a lot of time coiling my curly hair around her index finger while we watch Zootopia. I’ve learned just to lean my head into her a little closer sometimes. It’s the least I can do given the number of times I’ve puked in her freshly-washed hair.

I'm writing this blog because I want to teach other kids the proper way to children their parents. It involves a great deal of patience, the willingness to go limp-noodle in public places and a lot of careful observation. I heard my mom say recently that she's going to be a stay-at-home mom. I don’t know the details but it must be big because she brought home her entire classroom in our minivan and she keeps saying things like “Ya’ll better shape up if we’re going to be home together every day.” So, I’m working on my shapes now because she seems serious about it.

Check back every once in a while. My sister, Mila and I will be giving you tips on how to manage a home life balance, how to reject blueberries and cucumbers and opt for simple carbs like hot dog buns, how to maximize the amount of square footage you can cover in small, sharp and difficult-to-see toys, how to keep your parents on a schedule and most importantly how to seamlessly establish dominance in a home where the children outnumber the adults.